Posts Tagged ‘Love’

When we are truly loving and accepting of ourselves, we no longer concern ourselves

with what others do… 

Many of us find it difficult to deal with the negative people we encounter. We struggle with our desire to be loving and kind, and yet often feel that our own peaceful lives are made more difficult by our encounters with people that are selfish, controlling or critical. These types of relationships bring up emotional storms within us. The good news is that because they are rooted in the same cause, they have the same remedy–self-love.

When we are truly loving and accepting of ourselves, we no longer concern ourselves with what others do. If they are loving and supportive to us, we are fully able to receive that, for we understand that we are loving and lovable, deserving to receive Love.

When we are truly loving and accepting of ourselves, if we encounter people who are cunning, manipulative, or not living in integrity, we just recognize that these are people who are not in our soul family. We can clearly see that they are choosing to live a different type of experience than one that resonates with us.  We understand that they are involved in a life game that is not of interest to us. And so we nod pleasantly, allowing them to be who they are and to do what they do, while we move on to another type of experience that does inspire us. For Truth simply resonates within us, and we can feel that vibration, just as we can feel it when someone strikes a note of discord within us.

When we are truly loving and accepting of ourselves, our own loving hearts will attract Love and support to us, and the negative people and drama they bring will fall away. The best thing any of us can do is to work on loving and affirming whom we are, how we want to live, and acting as if we were already there.

~ I am Love, and Love is all there is ~

For more on self-love and changing your focus from others to self, read my blog ✫ Spiritual Growth in Tumultuous Times. For more affirmations for healing and positive living, visit my facebook page.

Walk in Love, my friends!



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The real reason that we find it so easy to love some people is not because they are so wonderful. It is because they are love-able– they are able to allow us to express our Love for them. They do this because they have enough self-love to believe that we are sincere in our appreciation for them, and so they let our Love in.

When we don’t feel good enough about ourselves, we block the Love that others would send us. We can’t accept it. We find it hard to believe a compliment; we imagine slings and arrows behind a simple inquiry directed our way. If we think that we are too old or too fat or too damaged or not worthy enough to find Love, then we won’t. One of our favorite ways to punish ourselves is by not allowing the Love in.

Some people believe that they cannot be happy unless they have a special partner who cherishes them above all others. Unless there is someone to lavish love upon them, they feel empty and sad. I believe that the truth is the complete opposite of this idea. I believe that we can never be happy unless we have someone or something else to lavish our love and attention on. The more loving we are to others, the better we feel about ourselves. The kinder you are to others, the more kindly you will feel toward yourself.

When we offer our Love to others, it makes us feel good. We like to think of ourselves as being loving and open-hearted; we feel good when we see that we have perked up an ailing friend; helped a co-worker; listened with compassion to someone who is hurting. We all want to help, and we are delighted when we know we have made a difference. The very small acts of Love and kindness that people quietly and silently offer all day long are part of what makes us good human beings. We look for ways to help; we feel good when we make a positive difference; we feel better when our Love and support is accepted. Even offering help anonymously feels good– donating to a hunger bank or an animal shelter makes us feel that we have done something to make the world a better place. In giving our time or treasure or talent to another, we are offering our Love.

The next time you feel sad or lonely, turn your thoughts to those around you. Ask yourself, whom do you know who could use a little Love or an unexpected act of kindness? You don’t have to force yourself outside of your comfort zone by making speeches. Instead, try a little nosegay of wildflowers in a jar outside your neighbor’s door; pick up papers in the park; weed your aunt’s garden for her; bring your neighbor’s paper up to her door when you get your own; donate clothing to a shelter or old linens to an animal shelter. You’ll feel better that you did!

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The Christmas season is upon us once again, and as usual, those who celebrate this holiday are scrambling to find the ‘perfect’ gift. Many people worry that due to lack of time or funds, they will not be able to do ‘enough’ for their loved ones.  When I ask others what is it that we are actually celebrating, most people mention the birth of the baby Jesus, bringing hope and salvation for the entire world.

Whether you believe in the birth of Jesus or are simply swept up in the holiday magic of Santa and his elves, many people embrace this season because it signifies a time to let the warmth of these Holly Days brighten our tired hearts and minds. The very idea of Christmas allows us to buy into—at least temporarily–the idea of goodwill to all. We gaily chirp ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Happy Holidays’ to everyone we meet, whilst dutifully doling out gift envelopes and brightly wrapped packages meant to convey warm regards to our recipients.

Beginning with Thanksgiving, the entire holiday season allows us the time to focus on the love and concern we feel for our loved ones. Many people are too uncomfortable to verbally express just how deeply they care about their friends and family. Instead, they attempt to show their loved ones how much they treasure them in a tangible way, through giving gifts. They assume that others know how important they are to them, or will be able to divine the depth of their feelings through the number or extravagance of the gifts. Yet in the hustle and bustle of daily life, how often do most people stop to consider the impact that they make in the lives of those around them?

I believe that true gifts of the heart are many, and we do not need a special time of year to offer them. I would like to share several ideas that will allow you to give the most treasured gift that you can—yourself.

  • The Gift of Integrity. Say nothing about anyone else that you would not say to them personally. If it is bad enough that you need to tell someone else, tell the person himself, so you can work it out—together.
  • The Gift of Sacred Silence. Listen to others with Love, without trying to fix them. If they want your advice, they will ask you for it.
  • The Gift of Trust. Offer your loved ones a sacred, safe place to unburden themselves—without worrying that you will repeat their private concerns to others.
  • The Gift of Attention. Spend the time to really connect with others, and listen to them without checking your email or texts. Allow them the undivided attention they deserve.
  • The Gift of Loving Words. Write your loved ones a letter, telling them how much you treasure their presence in your life. Tell them why you cherish them and what it is that makes them so special to you.
  • The Gift of Love. Is there any among us who does not seem unlovable at times? Unfortunately, many of us treat our family members less politely than we would a stranger on the street. Overlook what you can, address what you must, and your loved ones will be more inclined to do the same for you.
  • The Gift of Gratitude. Spend time noticing what you like about someone and not focusing on what you dislike. When someone takes the time to do something really nice or unexpected for you, take a moment to write out a note to thank him. It will make her day!
  • The Gift of Noticing. Take a moment to compliment a new hairstyle, a good idea, or a job well done. Many people complain that they feel invisible—that no one would even notice if they were gone.
  • The Gift of Letting Go. We all experience less than stellar moments when we react badly or unleash our pain on an undeserving someone. Just let it go; it is already moving into the past. Stop dragging old hurts into your present.
  • The Gift of Kindness. Are there any of us who cannot use a little tweaking? It is not necessary to point out that someone else is looking more tired, plump, wrinkled etc. Find things to complement, or say nothing at all.
  • The Gift of Tolerance. With so many souls on this planet, is it realistic to assume that we will like, or even understand everyone we meet? We all have the inherent right to express who we are. Respect the rights of others to be who they are, and pray that they will do the same for you.
  • The Gift of Patience. No one can face an issue or stop a negative habit until they feel ready enough and strong enough to make the effort. Allow others to come to their lessons in their own time, not yours. The timing needs to be right for them, not when it is convenient for you.
  • The Gift of Time. Share your time with your loved ones. Offer your services to make a meal, babysit, rake leaves, read aloud or run an errand. Even sharing a cup of tea or phoning someone else can brighten their day.
  • The Gift of Hope. Offer sweet words of encouragement, hope, comfort and support. Your loved ones will be glad you did!
  • The Gift of Prayer. Pray for your loved ones, and offer them up to God’s care and keeping. There is no one better able to Love, care and protect them.

In closing, I believe that our parents and grandparents really did get it right— live by the Golden Rule, and treat others with the same courtesy you would like to receive in return. In doing so, you will truly share from the heart, not from the wallet.

Sent from my heart, with most loving good wishes for a bright and shining Christmas season, all the year through,


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Although we hold many different faiths, beliefs, and holiday traditions in our hearts, I believe that the prevailing foundation of all is Love. I am sending this based on my earliest memories, but I am an Interfaith minister, meaning that I honor all beliefs, all faiths, all traditions that others hold sacred. To me, it is all the blessed gift of Love that is sacred Spirit.

And so I offer my own updated version of this familiar poem with my most heartfelt wishes for this sacred time of year.  I hope it will touch your heart.

With much love and my warmest blessings for a Happy Holly season and a bright and wonderful New Year,



The (New) Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse.

Yet I was awash in most palpable fear
The end of the night was too soon drawing near.
I had presents to wrap and gift cards to write
As it was I would not lay my head down this night.

Anger flared inside me; weariness washed through my bones
Why was I facing this night all alone?
A feast yet to cook and so many to please
It hardly seemed fair I had no time for ease.

I hung my head low; I had no time to weep
If I were to hope my commitments I’d keep.
What had changed my old childish joy and delight
To the dread that I wouldn’t survive this one night?

Where was the stillness, the peace I once felt
When in my church pew I had prayed while I knelt?
I clearly recalled the glad tidings and joy
The tenderness I felt for the wee infant boy.

He had come to fill all our hearts with great Love
He had brought us the lesson of rising above.
To help us replace our petty, hurtful spite
To focus instead on goodness and light.

It is easy to do when we remember His claim
That deep inside we are all quite the same.
We all share a burning heart light within
Ignited in us when our lives did begin.

All Masters have taught that compassion is key
Kindness is learned at our own mother’s knee.
Patience and mercy, steadfastness and care
These are the gifts we can all choose to share.

My warmest wishes for you at this holiday time:
Accept all the Love sent to your heart from mine.
Receive it within and let it burn bright
Then pass it to all you encounter this night.

c. Rev Peggy Ray 2010


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