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The real reason that we find it so easy to love some people is not because they are so wonderful. It is because they are love-able– they are able to allow us to express our Love for them. They do this because they have enough self-love to believe that we are sincere in our appreciation for them, and so they let our Love in.

When we don’t feel good enough about ourselves, we block the Love that others would send us. We can’t accept it. We find it hard to believe a compliment; we imagine slings and arrows behind a simple inquiry directed our way. If we think that we are too old or too fat or too damaged or not worthy enough to find Love, then we won’t. One of our favorite ways to punish ourselves is by not allowing the Love in.

Some people believe that they cannot be happy unless they have a special partner who cherishes them above all others. Unless there is someone to lavish love upon them, they feel empty and sad. I believe that the truth is the complete opposite of this idea. I believe that we can never be happy unless we have someone or something else to lavish our love and attention on. The more loving we are to others, the better we feel about ourselves. The kinder you are to others, the more kindly you will feel toward yourself.

When we offer our Love to others, it makes us feel good. We like to think of ourselves as being loving and open-hearted; we feel good when we see that we have perked up an ailing friend; helped a co-worker; listened with compassion to someone who is hurting. We all want to help, and we are delighted when we know we have made a difference. The very small acts of Love and kindness that people quietly and silently offer all day long are part of what makes us good human beings. We look for ways to help; we feel good when we make a positive difference; we feel better when our Love and support is accepted. Even offering help anonymously feels good– donating to a hunger bank or an animal shelter makes us feel that we have done something to make the world a better place. In giving our time or treasure or talent to another, we are offering our Love.

The next time you feel sad or lonely, turn your thoughts to those around you. Ask yourself, whom do you know who could use a little Love or an unexpected act of kindness? You don’t have to force yourself outside of your comfort zone by making speeches. Instead, try a little nosegay of wildflowers in a jar outside your neighbor’s door; pick up papers in the park; weed your aunt’s garden for her; bring your neighbor’s paper up to her door when you get your own; donate clothing to a shelter or old linens to an animal shelter. You’ll feel better that you did!

~A grieving heart is an open heart, and an open heart is the doorway to true joy, and a life of Love~

We can never really know what anyone else’s purpose in life is. It is so easy to view others with criticism or intolerance, whilst declaring confidently how they ‘should’ act. But all things are as we need them to be, for a period of time at least, until we wake up, realize that we are suffering, and choose to transform our lives. We all have the right to choose how we will learn. Some lessons come only through suffering, just as some lessons come only through joy. Eventually we wake up and understand that emotional and even most physical suffering will not kill us; we must go on living whether we want to or not. At that point, grace arrives, and we cease to fear suffering.

A wise person knows that suffering is but a state of mind, it is not who we are. It is a fleeting state of existence, and we have the power to change how we view it. It never fails to amaze me how many of us handle what we view as ‘negative’ emotions. When we are sad or angry, we spend countless hours figuring it all out. We feel compelled to analyze our sorrow, look at it from all sides, dig deeply into the past to find the root of it. Yet when we are happy, we do not ask ourselves “Why am I so darned happy? How long will this last? What is the root of this joy?” Instead, we relax, and simply experience our state of happiness. We are content to hang suspended in our blissful moments of joy. The fact that we suspect they will not last forever makes them seem all the more sweet.

Suffering is unavoidable. Our bodies grow old, our loved ones get sick, our children fall down, and we experience times of stress, hardship, loss, or betrayal. Many of us expend a tremendous amount of energy to run away from our pain. We get creatively busy to distract ourselves, or numb ourselves in an infinite assortment of ways.  If we would approach our fleeting moments of unhappiness the same way as we do our periods of joy, our suffering would pass more quickly. A grieving heart is an open heart, and an open heart is the doorway to true joy, and a life of Love.

When you are in grief, allow yourself the respect to truly feel it. Wallow in your pain– let it deeply permeate your being. Lie on your bed, and cry aloud– “Oh! I am suffering, why me? Oh, it hurts!” Roll back and forth, scream and cry, as a child would. It is amazing how quickly the feelings will pass if you allow them the freedom to fully manifest. It is when we start numbing ourselves– trying desperately to keep ourselves from feeling them fully, that they persist and cloud our daily lives. Children scream and fuss and then suddenly– the cloud burst dissipates and they are sunny and full of energy again. There is no residue of suppressed emotion to dampen their spirits. The moment passes and they move forward unfettered. If you must suffer, then suffer beautifully. The very fact that you are open enough to feel your pain is a gift. Try it– you will be amazed at how well it works.

Many people tell me that they cannot let themselves go– that they can’t cry. They have ignored their own feelings and told themselves to buck up and stop whining for so long that being numb has become a habitual state of being. The only way that they can get through life is by shutting themselves down so that they do not feel their own pain. They float through life, mired in a world of no highs, no lows. Is it any wonder that so many of us are depressed?

My solution is to rent a bunch of sad movies. So many of the Disney movies, for instance, are really horrendously brutal. Poor baby Bambi loses his mother in a terrifying forest fire in the first five minutes. Poor baby Dumbo is driven to the point of self-immolation due to the cruelty of others. Old tearjerkers abound: Brian’s Song; Love Story; Now, Voyager and Mildred Pierce are just a few. Grab a bunch of sad movies, watch one every day for two weeks, and have a good cry while you do. If your family catches you, you can blame it on the movie and they’ll cry with you. By the time your two weeks have passed, you will feel transformed. Don’t ever underestimate the cleansing power of a good cry. Let your tears flow, and you will feel enormously better.

Allowing yourself to fully grieve sends a message to your inner self that you truly care about yourself. By allowing yourself to acknowledge how you really feel, deep down in your heart of hearts, you are telling yourself that it is okay to feel your true feelings. You are telling your inner self that it is safe for you to be authentically yourself, without shame or holding back. You are not feeling one way and acting another way in order to please others. Too many of us worry more about not making others feel uncomfortable than we do about being compassionate to ourselves. Let your tears flow, and your painful emotions will ease.

The true purpose of pain and suffering is to teach us something important. Suffering is the great teacher. Suffering works because we pay much greater attention to our pain than we do to our joy. When we are happy and things are going well, we don’t question it. Much of the time, we don’t even notice it– we merely accept that things are going well for us. Yet when things are not going our way, we notice that immediately, and then ask ourselves what the problem is. We question how we can adjust so that our pain will cease.  What better way to catch our own attention than by throwing a boulder in the middle of the road ahead? We surely won’t miss that!

Every great hero through time has faced a series of challenges to prove his or her own strength and courage. You are the hero of your own life story, as we all are. You are looking to teach yourself important lessons through your painful mistakes and losses. Ask yourself: What lesson has this suffering taught me? What have I learned now that could have helped me avoid this experience if only I had known it earlier? After all, if you knew any better, would you have made the choices you did? As long as you are human, you will continue to mess up at times. The real trick is to get back up, dust yourself off, and discover the underlying lesson, so that you are not doomed to repeat the painful experience. Take responsibility for your mistake, make amends where appropriate, acknowledge what you have learned, and allow yourself to forgive your error and move on. Keep the wisdom, and release the needless suffering.

Remember, everything in life is a gift. Some gifts come encircled in beautiful wrappings, and we are delighted to receive them. Some gifts come wrapped in ugly paper, and we may not view them so enthusiastically. Yet all things in life hold value; all events in life are gifts no matter how ugly they may appear to be. It is our responsibility to unwrap them, and to look for the beauty within each circumstance. In truth, suffering may be the greatest gift of all.

~  I find beauty within all things, and Life is good. ~

For more healing affirmations, please visit my facebook page.

The Christmas season is upon us once again, and as usual, those who celebrate this holiday are scrambling to find the ‘perfect’ gift. Many people worry that due to lack of time or funds, they will not be able to do ‘enough’ for their loved ones.  When I ask others what is it that we are actually celebrating, most people mention the birth of the baby Jesus, bringing hope and salvation for the entire world.

Whether you believe in the birth of Jesus or are simply swept up in the holiday magic of Santa and his elves, many people embrace this season because it signifies a time to let the warmth of these Holly Days brighten our tired hearts and minds. The very idea of Christmas allows us to buy into—at least temporarily–the idea of goodwill to all. We gaily chirp ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Happy Holidays’ to everyone we meet, whilst dutifully doling out gift envelopes and brightly wrapped packages meant to convey warm regards to our recipients.

Beginning with Thanksgiving, the entire holiday season allows us the time to focus on the love and concern we feel for our loved ones. Many people are too uncomfortable to verbally express just how deeply they care about their friends and family. Instead, they attempt to show their loved ones how much they treasure them in a tangible way, through giving gifts. They assume that others know how important they are to them, or will be able to divine the depth of their feelings through the number or extravagance of the gifts. Yet in the hustle and bustle of daily life, how often do most people stop to consider the impact that they make in the lives of those around them?

I believe that true gifts of the heart are many, and we do not need a special time of year to offer them. I would like to share several ideas that will allow you to give the most treasured gift that you can—yourself.

  • The Gift of Integrity. Say nothing about anyone else that you would not say to them personally. If it is bad enough that you need to tell someone else, tell the person himself, so you can work it out—together.
  • The Gift of Sacred Silence. Listen to others with Love, without trying to fix them. If they want your advice, they will ask you for it.
  • The Gift of Trust. Offer your loved ones a sacred, safe place to unburden themselves—without worrying that you will repeat their private concerns to others.
  • The Gift of Attention. Spend the time to really connect with others, and listen to them without checking your email or texts. Allow them the undivided attention they deserve.
  • The Gift of Loving Words. Write your loved ones a letter, telling them how much you treasure their presence in your life. Tell them why you cherish them and what it is that makes them so special to you.
  • The Gift of Love. Is there any among us who does not seem unlovable at times? Unfortunately, many of us treat our family members less politely than we would a stranger on the street. Overlook what you can, address what you must, and your loved ones will be more inclined to do the same for you.
  • The Gift of Gratitude. Spend time noticing what you like about someone and not focusing on what you dislike. When someone takes the time to do something really nice or unexpected for you, take a moment to write out a note to thank him. It will make her day!
  • The Gift of Noticing. Take a moment to compliment a new hairstyle, a good idea, or a job well done. Many people complain that they feel invisible—that no one would even notice if they were gone.
  • The Gift of Letting Go. We all experience less than stellar moments when we react badly or unleash our pain on an undeserving someone. Just let it go; it is already moving into the past. Stop dragging old hurts into your present.
  • The Gift of Kindness. Are there any of us who cannot use a little tweaking? It is not necessary to point out that someone else is looking more tired, plump, wrinkled etc. Find things to complement, or say nothing at all.
  • The Gift of Tolerance. With so many souls on this planet, is it realistic to assume that we will like, or even understand everyone we meet? We all have the inherent right to express who we are. Respect the rights of others to be who they are, and pray that they will do the same for you.
  • The Gift of Patience. No one can face an issue or stop a negative habit until they feel ready enough and strong enough to make the effort. Allow others to come to their lessons in their own time, not yours. The timing needs to be right for them, not when it is convenient for you.
  • The Gift of Time. Share your time with your loved ones. Offer your services to make a meal, babysit, rake leaves, read aloud or run an errand. Even sharing a cup of tea or phoning someone else can brighten their day.
  • The Gift of Hope. Offer sweet words of encouragement, hope, comfort and support. Your loved ones will be glad you did!
  • The Gift of Prayer. Pray for your loved ones, and offer them up to God’s care and keeping. There is no one better able to Love, care and protect them.

In closing, I believe that our parents and grandparents really did get it right— live by the Golden Rule, and treat others with the same courtesy you would like to receive in return. In doing so, you will truly share from the heart, not from the wallet.

Sent from my heart, with most loving good wishes for a bright and shining Christmas season, all the year through,

Peggy

Although we hold many different faiths, beliefs, and holiday traditions in our hearts, I believe that the prevailing foundation of all is Love. I am sending this based on my earliest memories, but I am an Interfaith minister, meaning that I honor all beliefs, all faiths, all traditions that others hold sacred. To me, it is all the blessed gift of Love that is sacred Spirit.

And so I offer my own updated version of this familiar poem with my most heartfelt wishes for this sacred time of year.  I hope it will touch your heart.

With much love and my warmest blessings for a Happy Holly season and a bright and wonderful New Year,

Peggy

 

The (New) Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse.

Yet I was awash in most palpable fear
The end of the night was too soon drawing near.
I had presents to wrap and gift cards to write
As it was I would not lay my head down this night.

Anger flared inside me; weariness washed through my bones
Why was I facing this night all alone?
A feast yet to cook and so many to please
It hardly seemed fair I had no time for ease.

I hung my head low; I had no time to weep
If I were to hope my commitments I’d keep.
What had changed my old childish joy and delight
To the dread that I wouldn’t survive this one night?

Where was the stillness, the peace I once felt
When in my church pew I had prayed while I knelt?
I clearly recalled the glad tidings and joy
The tenderness I felt for the wee infant boy.

He had come to fill all our hearts with great Love
He had brought us the lesson of rising above.
To help us replace our petty, hurtful spite
To focus instead on goodness and light.

It is easy to do when we remember His claim
That deep inside we are all quite the same.
We all share a burning heart light within
Ignited in us when our lives did begin.

All Masters have taught that compassion is key
Kindness is learned at our own mother’s knee.
Patience and mercy, steadfastness and care
These are the gifts we can all choose to share.

My warmest wishes for you at this holiday time:
Accept all the Love sent to your heart from mine.
Receive it within and let it burn bright
Then pass it to all you encounter this night.

c. Rev Peggy Ray 2010

 

Many people repeat the same type of painful pattern again and again. The circumstances of these traumas seem bigger & more hurtful over time, so as to draw our attention to them. For instance, everyone I have met who had an auto collision had 2 earlier warnings– first a near-miss, then a little swipe perhaps, finally the big bang. If we will learn to recognize & pay attention to the little signs along the way, we can avoid the big collisions.

Painful patterns emerge because we are trying to alert ourselves to a false belief about our life or ourselves.  The majority of these beliefs are instilled in us before we are fully verbal, often at an age when we are too young to remember them consciously. An infant or young child is powerless; they are unable to fully process all the stimuli presented to them in the same way that an adult can. Events that seem everyday to a grownup, such as visiting a doctor for an immunization, can seem frightening and traumatic to a child. They are unable to process or reframe trauma in a way that leaves them feeling safe and powerful.  The resulting false beliefs limit our joy and can attract traumatic incidents that repeat as patterns in our adult lives.

Let me give you an example of a pattern that is quite dramatic, and so very easy to discern. A young woman came to see me to make sense of the traumatic life she was experiencing. She cried for an hour or more as she told me her sad story.  She had recently been robbed in NYC in a terrifying incident and was certain that she would die when her assailant pulled a gun and threatened her life. About 14 months earlier a man had assaulted her, knocked out several of her teeth, beat her to the point of unconsciousness and left her battered and bleeding.  Approximately 15 months before the beating she was raped at knifepoint, beaten badly, and left for dead.  It was quite painful to watch her re-experience the horror of these traumas as she related them to me.

As I questioned her, a long pattern of chaos appeared. These three incidents were the most severe in a life-long string of abuses and personal violations. This woman had been beaten, robbed, pushed, injured, and assaulted more times than imaginable. As she sobbed away, she told me she did not want to go on living, for life was too painful and horrifying to endure. I was her last hope, that she might find some peace after years of trauma. What had drawn her to me? A simple statement on my web site that I believed we can transform pain into joy. My heart went out to this young woman as I looked at her tear-stained face.

As I worked with her guides and Higher Self, a startling story emerged. Her Spirit helpers told me that at birth, this young woman was absolutely perfect, as all infants are. She was a confident, happy, positive and cheerful child. She reached out to the world with love, and possessed absolute assurance that loving arms would reach back. At the age of 14 months, her life changed forever.

This baby was taken to the park in her carriage for her daily outing. As she drowsed in the warm autumn sun, her nanny wandered off or fell asleep. As the child lay dreaming peacefully, snug and secure, some insane person came upon her, and set a fire under her baby carriage. She awakened screaming in terror and pain as the metal bottom of the carriage became unbearably hot.  Her Spirit guides told me that this trauma had changed her belief about the world as a loving place. The people that were ‘supposed’ to take care of her had failed in their duty.

This traumatic incident started false beliefs that the people who loved her would not shelter or protect her, and that the world was a place where other people tried to kill you. You could be peacefully minding your own business, and a stranger would try to harm you. It was easy to see why this woman had experienced so many horrific and life threatening events. If you believe this is a place where people try to kill you, then that is what becomes true for you. It matters not what others think or believe, for what we believe creates our reality. Is there any wonder this woman believed the world was a terrifying place? For her, it was.

My client did not recall this incident, but she phoned her mother from my office, which confirmed the truth of the story. Her parents had never told her; they hoped that she had forgotten the incident, and feared they would traumatize her further if they revealed the event to her.

In my opinion, all children remember everything, even a fetus in its mother’s womb. I worked with this woman to remove her traumatic recall, and she walked out after one visit into a happier, healthier world. She still stays in touch, and I am happy to report that she has never suffered another attack.

Why is that? Because she no longer needs to recall her pain in order to heal the false belief she was burdened with. That is the only reason we relive painful circumstances over and over– to remember the false beliefs and heal the pain associated with those beliefs. Once I removed her false beliefs, I instilled a new idea that the world is a loving and protective place, full of hope and joy. Of course she must now find it so.

How do we know we carry false beliefs? We know because those beliefs were not in place at the moment of our birth.  An infant is always born perfect—open, loving, unafraid, fully accepting of love and the inherent goodness of all beings, all things. The hurtful events that we encounter in life gradually teach us that we are inadequate, weak, and unlovable. If we learned false beliefs as a child, we can unlearn them as adults.

False beliefs, and the solution to remedy them, will always start and end with you. Your feelings, your experiences, your beliefs. Change your attitude, and the circumstances of your life will follow.

What painful patterns do you experience again and again? What limiting beliefs are you trying to alert yourself to? Are you always passed over for a promotion that you deserved, do you inevitably attract partners who are unfaithful to you, do you seem to have a particular type of drama happen over and over again? If so, you may be unconsciously reliving a false belief and trying to alert yourself to the need to change the belief and thereby modify its accompanying situations.

Your beliefs may not be as easy to discern as my client’s were, but they are there. Focusing on remembering how you felt in response to painful events may make it easier for you to recall similar incidents. The people involved will change, but the general circumstances and the emotions they triggered in you will be similar.

Once you think you see a pattern, write it down. What are the general types of experience that seem to reoccur?  Summarize the circumstances in a line or two. Get a sense of how the energy works for you—are you always the one left feeling abandoned, the one who does all the work, the one who is betrayed, the one left unrewarded?

Next, try to see how this pattern has escalated over the years. It should become clearer and more apparent each time it appears. Try to trace the events back from the most recent to the earliest time you can recall. Allow yourself to fully feel the emotions that accompany this process. Do you feel angry with yourself or others, betrayed, sad or hopeless? Let yourself feel the emotions as clearly as you can. The reason these events reoccur is because we stuff our feelings about them down and run away from them in the present.

As yourself: What information did you not know or understand at the time of the event? What knowledge about yourself would have helped you to process or reframe this experience? Complete this statement: If only I had known ________, I would have dealt with this experience so much better.

For example, if only I had known that I was truly lovable, and if only I had been more self-confident, I would not have attracted such an abusive partner. Or, if only I knew how valuable and intelligent I was, I would not have settled for such a lousy dead-end job.

Once you have identified the negative beliefs you hold about yourself and others, you can begin the process of healing those beliefs. Just your becoming aware of them can allow you to begin ‘catching’ yourself as they come up. Work on affirming the truth—that you are a powerful, radiant, deeply loved child of the Universe. The more you believe that you are lovable, the more positive your attitude, the less drama you will create. I love this affirmation:

~No drama, no trauma; I choose to learn all my lessons through Love and kindness~*

I would like to share one final thought. I believe that everything in life is a gift. Some gifts come encircled in beautiful wrappings, and we are delighted to receive them. Some gifts come wrapped in ugly paper, and we may not view them so enthusiastically. Yet all things in life hold value… all events in life are gifts nonetheless. It is our job to unwrap them, and to look for the beauty within each circumstance.

You are a powerful, radiant, deeply loved child of the Universe. Believe it, and it will become so.

*For more affirmations, visit my facebook page.

✫ The Divine Devas

I have had many frantic people contact me this week. They were frightened by the power Mother Nature has shown this past week on the East coast. We had a significant earthquake on the 23rd and Hurricane Irene approaches as I write. Events such as these bring up our latent feelings of powerlessness; we realize that we have little control over the forces of nature. Yet you can always call upon the divine Devas to offer you their grace and protection, especially during times such as these. Devas are the mighty nature spirits– the sprites, nymphs and sylphs who guard all aspects of the elemental kingdom. They are responsible for maintaining and protecting our water, air, animals and earth. Call upon them today, and ask them to keep your home, property and all its inhabitants safe. You’ll be amazed at the difference these little beings can produce in the environment around you.

I would like to tell you a story of an experience I had working with the Devas. Soon after I moved into a new home, three different landscapers informed me that a particular tree on my property was dead and needed to be removed. They claimed it would be a hazard as it could fall at any time due to a dead root structure. I didn’t agree. I could see the energy in the tree still flowing, albeit weakly, and also saw the tree was emanating energy as well. I noticed it held an opossum nest as well as two large squirrel nests. This tree was also the only possible form of shade in an otherwise very sunny yard, and I had a small child with extremely fair skin. I was determined not to let this tree go without a fight!

Not wishing to alarm my new neighbors, I waited each evening until deep nightfall. Then I crept outside, and placed my arms around the tree. I rested my cheek on its trunk, and visualized warm orange and yellow and gold and brown earth energy pouring forth from the ground, surging upward to nourish this beautiful tree. I saw warm orange sap expanding and glowing, moving upward and outward as it brought healing nourishment. I talked to the Devas, and asked them to fully heal my tree, to restore it to full power, so it would shade my son and me in the heat, and continue to provide shelter for small animals. I asked if my tree wished to be loved and cherished again, it would grow back into full vital health, and establish a strong and healthy root structure. I continued this healing work for 3 weeks straight.

At the end of the three weeks my tree was attracting a lot of notice from the neighbors. They all wanted to know how the dead tree had come back to life. Not only was it full of healthy new leaves, but it was now easily identifiable as a Catalpa tree. Foot-long bean pods that looked like giant string beans hung from every branch. It was truly a beautiful sight to behold!

About a month later, in the midst of a warm spring day, I looked out my window and was amazed by what appeared to be snow falling all across the back yard. It was my beautiful Catalpa tree, releasing bloom after snowy bloom as she prepared to enter her full foliage. My yard was soon covered in immense white blossoms, soft and fragrant and unbelievably inviting. My glorious tree and I continued on in this way for many years until I moved from the home. None of the landscapers could ever explain what had happened, but I knew that it had been my Divine Devas at work!*

Excerpted from Spirit All Around, c. Rev Peggy Ray

 

We are living in tumultuous times. We are being called to let go of what no longer serves us, whether we consciously want to release these parts of self or not. All things that have kept us stuck and have prevented us from becoming our very best, whether it is our fear, an old wound, a relationship, a lack of forgiveness or an outdated belief, are being torn away from us now. Nothing that has outlived its usefulness to our own highest good will remain with us any longer, no matter how we try to hold on.

This process can seem very painful and even frightening, as if the very essence of us is being ripped away. Many people are experiencing intense feelings of fear and anxiety. Some are suffering with sudden rashes or welts, throbbing headaches, sleeplessness, nausea and undefined feelings of restlessness. Others are facing unexpected life decisions that feel downright scary– job changes, relationship upheavals, family crises, relocations.

If we reframe these experiences as part of the natural stretching that occurs as we shift and grow, then it will become much easier for us to release our old baggage and move forward. The spiritual and emotional energies surrounding us now are rising to a higher level, and we are shedding dead weight so that we can soar to new heights. Some of us have carried our burdens for so long that we literally feel as if we are our burdens. Spirit is attempting to help us release everything that has kept us trapped in any type of restriction. If we will consciously attempt to surrender and let go, it will help us release the dead weight and to soar ever higher.

For years our focus has been on caring for others and carrying those who would not take the responsibility to love and care for themselves. Many people spend so much time and energy looking after the emotional needs of others, that they have absolutely nothing left over for them. As more people have begun working on self-love and self-approval, they have begun to see that they are not responsible for making anyone happy but themselves.

This new paradigm emerging is one of self-responsibility. If I am responsible for my own happiness, and if I take charge of my own needs and wants without waiting for someone or something else outside of myself to fill the emotional void I feel inside, then everyone else can and must do the same for themselves.

If we are responsible only for our own healing, we can freely love and support others without feeling frustrated, angry or manipulated because we feel an obligation to heal their pain. Once I determine that I am important enough to put my own energy into me, I will fix my pain; you fix your pain. It is your right and your responsibility to help yourself feel safe, happy, fulfilled and loved. It is not the job of your parents, lover, friend or spouse to do so.  We cannot change others, nor do we have the right to try; but we sure can change ourselves!

Here are some points to remember:

1. Everyone sees life differently, based upon his or her own background, personality and soul path. It is okay for you to be exactly who you are and to make choices that are perfect for you right now; no one else has to like or approve of you or the things you resonate to.

2. It is okay for everyone else to have the same rights and ability to choose, based upon their background, beliefs and soul path. If you want the right to make choices that resonate to you, then you must offer that same freedom to others, even if you think their choices are unhealthy, unloving or ignorant.

3. We all have the right to make new choices at any time we desire. You are not the same person you were 10 years ago, and your current choices may be very different from the ones you made years ago. As we shift and grow, we are able to make healthier choices. We have the right to change our minds, whether others find that convenient or not.

4. Don’t focus on anyone else’s life or behavior. Focus on your own ability to make choices that will provide you with what you need, and what is important to you.

5. Do make it a priority to give yourself some safe space every day. How can you reduce your stress level, rest more, give yourself respite from the chaos of the world? Even the busiest person can allow themselves 20 minutes a day for quiet reflection.  If you have no stillness in your life, you will react to whatever life offers, not consciously create intentions for a happy life.

6. Don’t waste time, breath and energy trying to fix anyone else. They aren’t broken, they are learning. They have the right to make mistakes and to grow through them.

7. The best way to help anyone else is to lovingly surrender him or her to God’s care and keeping. You are not abandoning them by refusing to obsess about them; you are affirming that they are enfolded in the loving arms of a being infinitely more capable to support them than you are.

8. Do drink more water. The extra hydration will help you to withstand the added electrical energies flooding through your body.

9. Do use your breath to keep yourself calm, balanced and focused. It’s free, it’s effective, and it’s portable. Try this exercise that my Spirit guides taught me:

Breathe slowly and deeply. Bring your breath in through your nose or your mouth. Allow yourself to fully expand your chest cavity. Push the breath down into your stomach area, then visualize that you are releasing it through your feet. Keep using this image of breath moving in, down, and through to relax and center your body.

10. I find essential oil blends invaluable to help me stay balanced and focused. I do not think that I could do the work I do without them. The Young Living blend White Angelica helps me to seal off my energy so that I do not feel invaded by the energy of others. I also use Sacred Mountain to keep me grounded and centered. A new oil, Palo Santo, is said to be very effective for guarding against the negative emotions of others and to safeguard psychic sensitivity. You can get more information or order the oils at my link here:  http://peggyray.younglivingworld.com

11. Use affirmations, journaling, visualization and prayer to reframe your old beliefs.  Here are some affirmations to help get you started:

~ I love and accept myself exactly as I am. ~

~ I surrender the past and make room for new love and greater joy. ~

~ I am free to change in every possible way. ~

~ I am creating a life I love! ~

~ I release with Love, and make room for Joy. ~

~ I am a beloved child of the Universe. It is my pleasure to cherish myself,

exactly as I am. ~

For more healing affirmations, visit my Facebook page under Rev Peggy Ray

Finally, I would like to leave you with advice that my Spirit guides have taught me:

First, take good loving care of yourself; then offer Love and care with open arms to others. First you, then them!

Walk in Love,

Peggy

revpeggyray.com